Ep. 66: Hotel sex and slow orgasms

April 25, 2017

We went on a weekend getaway, enjoyed some hotel sex, and rediscovered the thrill of taking our time with getting to an orgasm.

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Ep. 65: How to keep a man interested in sex with the same woman?

April 18, 2017

We were listening to the Black Phillip show with Patrice O'Neal and there was a piece of advice given that we appreciated and wanted to delve into. How do you keep a man interested in sex long-term?

"Pee on the floor." Take the first step, initiate by action.

We talk about how DOING something is different than WEARING something different when trying to initiate sex.

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Ep. 64: Coping with negative news stories as a couple

April 11, 2017

Chloé is feeling physically hurt by the amount of disasters that have been reported online daily.

She's had to ask Jacob to not talk about what he's reading throughout the day because it's too much to process and is physically painful.

We're using the strategy of checking in with each other once a day, so we can still discuss the world and know what the other thinks, without Chloé feeling overwhelmed by information.

Jacob's also been asking "I know you didn't want to hear news right now, but this is really big are you ok if I talk about it right now?" Which gives Chloe the option to say no, and having the option is important.

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Ep. 63: How to talk to a partner who is having too many candy bars

April 4, 2017

How do you let your partner know you're concerned about their behavior without being a jerk.

Typically when a person is indulging too much in something, whether that be drinking, eating sugar, watching tv, smoking, the indulging is a symptom of something else that isn't being talked about.

It's important to check in though, because sometimes just knowing the behavior isn't being done in a bubble, it's being seen by someone who cares is enough to start noticing and changing behavior.

We give examples of how we check in with each other, and how we've failed at it in the past. There was a time when Chloé was being a real jerk about Jacob quitting smoking and we talk about how that's changed over time.

Another example is weight gain, which often happens in relationships. We talk about how we checked in with each other about losing weight.

We also talk about too much tv and how to o address that.

So, top three things to keep in mind when talking to your partner about concerning behavior:
1) Have the right intention.
2) Remind your partner that it's ok, and things can always change.
3) Have a little grace and compassion.

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Ep. 62: Feminism vs. Marriage

March 28, 2017

We have a "Tip-of-the-Tits" to Mamoun's Falafel, our unofficial sponsor.

We read this article arguing against marriage, from a feminist perspective, and we each have some different perspectives on her argument.
 
There is an argument that marriage, with its base in patriarchy, still makes life worse for women because they have to play the mother role in the their marriage.
 
Chloe agrees on that point. She finds she, and most women she knows, end of taking care of more around the house. Jacob argues that it's more about "thresholds," and men have a higher thresholds for filth.
 
Chloe disagrees with the author regarding the difference between being married and living together without being married. The author argues that they are very different relationships, and Chloe disagrees. 
 
Specifically in regards to sex, if you're looking at sex as an obligation, it's probably not going to be great, regardless of being married.
 
Marriage doesn't also mean giving up your own identity. While many women do give up their identities to their relationship, it doesn't have to be that way. 
 
There was a study done in France that showed women who cheated on their husbands were more likely to cheat if their husbands did not help out around the house.
 
If your partner isn't getting the fact that you need help, you need to make sure you are asking clearly.
 
Jacob compares our marriage to that phone that catches on fire...you probably shouldn't buy it in case it does catch on fire, but ours works great, hasn't burned us.
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