Ep. 61: Financial cheating and money dreams in a relationship

March 21, 2017

We did our taxes this weekend! Between doing taxes and reading this article about cheating on your partner financially, we figured we'd do another money and relationships episode.

We have conversations to keep ourselves accountable financially, but those conversations are hard.

Jacob can be compulsive when it comes to budgeting so Chloé does most of the finances. But we have to talk about what we spend in order to be on the same page.

Because of a car accident he was in as a baby, Jacob got $20k when he was around 19, and blew through it all. He sees it as a $20k lesson he wishes he'd learned cheaper.

When asked what he would do differently now, Jacob says he'd sit on it for a while. Just to see it on paper in a bank, that isn't being touched and isn't needed to be touched.

What would the biggest change be in our relationship if money was ok? We'd go out more, have better food. Chloe's not sure what it will feel like not to have the stress of money but she knows not having to have conversations about money every day will be a positive change.

Jacob would buy prerolled cigarettes and Chloé would spend money on health stuff.

When money is really tight it makes sex not fun.

Chloé will often go into a spiral of fear of abandonment with money issues, and Jacob supports her by reminding  her that the relationship is ok, and talking about the fear actually strengthens our relationship.

During our separation we cut a bunch if subscriptions and cable, and that came out of financial conversations. What that taught us is that we have to clarify our financial game plan with each other when not in the heat of the moment.