We were listening to the Black Phillip show with Patrice O'Neal and there was a piece of advice given that we appreciated and wanted to delve into. How do you keep a man interested in sex long-term?
"Pee on the floor." Take the first step, initiate by action.
We talk about how DOING something is different than WEARING something different when trying to initiate sex.
Chloé is feeling physically hurt by the amount of disasters that have been reported online daily.
She's had to ask Jacob to not talk about what he's reading throughout the day because it's too much to process and is physically painful.
We're using the strategy of checking in with each other once a day, so we can still discuss the world and know what the other thinks, without Chloé feeling overwhelmed by information.
Jacob's also been asking "I know you didn't want to hear news right now, but this is really big are you ok if I talk about it right now?" Which gives Chloe the option to say no, and having the option is important.
How do you let your partner know you're concerned about their behavior without being a jerk.
Typically when a person is indulging too much in something, whether that be drinking, eating sugar, watching tv, smoking, the indulging is a symptom of something else that isn't being talked about.
It's important to check in though, because sometimes just knowing the behavior isn't being done in a bubble, it's being seen by someone who cares is enough to start noticing and changing behavior.
We give examples of how we check in with each other, and how we've failed at it in the past. There was a time when Chloé was being a real jerk about Jacob quitting smoking and we talk about how that's changed over time.
Another example is weight gain, which often happens in relationships. We talk about how we checked in with each other about losing weight.
We also talk about too much tv and how to o address that.
So, top three things to keep in mind when talking to your partner about concerning behavior:
1) Have the right intention.
2) Remind your partner that it's ok, and things can always change.
3) Have a little grace and compassion.
We have a "Tip-of-the-Tits" to Mamoun's Falafel, our unofficial sponsor.